Nigel Cares: How to help a friend

By Kel Lee Cutrell
Associate director of counseling services

Speaking with a friend who is suicidal can be difficult for most people.

However, if you are aware of what to look for and how to engage your friend in a healthy conversation your confidence will increase.

It's a myth that if you use the word "suicide," it makes the conversation awkward or I may be putting the idea in their head.

The fact is that asking someone about suicidal thoughts will NOT lead them to attempt suicide. It is best to ask if you are concerned or if you observe any of these warnings signs:

• Sleeping less or more
• Purchasing a lethal weapon (rope, guns, large knives)
• Drastic mood changes (depression, anger)
• Eating less or more
• Change in substance use
• Withdrawing from loved ones/interests
• Stockpiling of pills
• Skipping classes/drop in grades
• Talking or writing about suicide/death
• Feelings of excessive guilt/shame

A previous attempt is the No. 1 warning sign! If you know that your friend had attempted suicide in the past and they are now showing some of these warning signs, please do not hesitate to talk with them about how they are feeling.  It is less important how you say it, and more important that you say it.

To speak with your friend, start off with compassionately asking how they are feeling. Take them seriously! Listen for words of hopelessness and goodbyes. This simple question could open the door to a much deeper conversation.

Ask them how you can best support them right now. Let them know you are there for them, but do not agree to secrecy. You might need to tell a professional in the UNG community who can help them further.

Refer your friend to Student Counseling, the Dean of Student's office, 911 or any of the departments listed below. You can walk your friend to the department, help them call the department, or give them the department's information.

Remember this acronym by the American Association of Suicidology, "Is Path Warm," for warning signs:

• I – Ideation/threats                                                              
• S – Substance Use                                                                
• P – Purposeless/no reason to live                                  
• A – Anxiety/Agitation
• T – Trapped/ no way out
• H – Hopelessness
• W – Withdrawal from others
• A – Anger/rage
• R – Recklessness
• M – Mood changes

This week, each of UNG's five campuses will have a Fresh Check Day. This is a mental health initiative with interactive booths focused on understanding mental health, suicide prevention efforts, and promoting avenues to seek help.

• Blue Ridge: Main lobby. Thursday, Sept. 9 from 10:30 a.m. to 1 p.m.
• Cumming: Main lobby. Tuesday, Sept. 7 from 10:30 a.m. to 1 p.m.
• Dahlonega: Hoag Patio. Wednesday, Sept. 8 from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m.
• Gainesville: The Quad. Wednesday, Sept 8 from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m.
• Oconee: Quad Area. Thursday, Sept. 9 from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m.

UNG has several resources you can use to help your friend. Please, do not hesitate to reach out.

• Student Counseling: https://ung.edu/student-counseling/index.php
• Dean of Students: https://ung.edu/dean-of-students/index.php
• Nigel Cares: https://ungwellnesshub.com/
• Student Health: https://ung.edu/student-health-services/index.php

Other Resources include the 24/7 Georgia Crisis Line: (800) 715-4225.