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    2. Student Life
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    4. Self Help Library

    Grief, Loss, and Other Life Changes

    Grief is a normal response to loss. Most commonly we relate grief to the loss of a loved one, but grief can be caused by any loss. Although grief is often described as a five stage process (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance), there is no “right” way to grieve. Not everyone experiences each stage, not everyone grieves in this order, and some experience various stages multiple times throughout their grief process.

    If you feel like you are stuck in one stage of grief or that your grief could be turning into mild to severe depression, please reach out to Student Counseling Services to get the support that you need.

    On This Page:
    • Understanding Grief
    • Screening Tools
    • The Death of a Loved One
    • Dealing with Divorce or Changes in a Relationship
    • Dealing with Your Health Issues or Health Issues of a Loved One
    • Other Types of Loss
    • Coping with Grief and Loss
    • When Does Grief Become Unhealthy?
    • Additional Self–Help Resources
    • Need Help?

    Return to the Self-Help Library

    Understanding Grief

    • Understanding Grief
    • Understanding Grief Symptoms (YouTube)
    • The Grieving Process (PDF)
    • 5 Things About Grief No One Really Tells You (YouTube)
    • Understanding Grief and Loss: An Overview
    • How to support yourself (and others) through grief (Nina Westbrook)

    Screening Tools

    These screening tools can help determine if it may be time to seek professional help.

    • MindWise Innovations Wide Range Screening Tool

    The Death of a Loved One

    • Bereavement: Grieving the Loss of a Loved One
    • The Grieving  Process: Coping with Death (YouTube)
    • When Someone You Love Dies, There Is No Such Thing as Moving On (YouTube)
    • We don't "move on" from grief. We move forward with it
    • David Kessler Training: When a Parent Dies (login required)
    • Ask the counselor: “What’s the best way to help a friend mourn the loss of a loved one?"
    • Leave Your Light On; Compassion in a Time of Grief (Michael Tesalona) (YouTube)

    When Someone You Love Dies by Suicide

    • I’ve Lost Someone to Suicide
    • Understanding Suicidal Thoughts
    • Grief After Loss of a Loved One to Suicide (Online 3-Week Suicide Loss Support Series)

    Dealing with Divorce or Changes in a Relationship

    • Coping With a Breakup or Divorce
    • The Painful Truth About Breakups
    • How Long Does It Take to Get Over a Breakup (Video)
    • How to Find Yourself Again After a Breakup (Video)
    • How to Fix a Broken Heart (Video)
    • Recovering From a Breakup: Proven Ways to Heal (From Science)

    Dealing with Health Issues

    • Coping with a Life-Threatening Illness or Serious Health Event   
    • Coping with Physical Illness (YouTube)
    • How gratitude rewires your brain (Christina Costa)
    • What happens when you have a disease doctors can't diagnose (Jennifer Brea)
    • Disability Not Invisibility: My Experience with Chronic Illness (Vicky Potter) (YouTube)

    Other Types of Loss

    • Job Loss and Unemployment Stress
    • Coping with Losing a Pet

    Coping with Grief and Loss

    • Healthy Grieving (PDF)
    • How to Deal with Grief and Loss
    • Tips For Grieving College Students
    • Coping with Grief and Loss
    • Grieving Customs and Rituals (YouTube)
    • How to Handle Grief (YouTube)
    • How to find meaning after loss (David Kessler)
    • Grief Support That Works (Jo McRogers YouTube Channel)
    • Rethinking how we hold space for grief and loss (Michèle Pearson Clarke) (YouTube)

    Relaxation & Mindfulness

    • Guided Meditation for Healing (YouTube)
    • Coping with Uncertainty Meditation
    • Meditation for Grief: Practices for Healing and Acceptance

    When Does Grief Become Unhealthy?

    • What Everyone Should Understand About Prolonged Grief Disorder
    • Change, Loss and Grief: Are Your Reactions Unhealthy?
    • The Profound Sadness of Prolonged Grief
    • Prolonged Grief (YouTube)

    Additional Self-Help Resources

    • Apps & Podcasts
    • Books
    • Videos & Blogs
    • Websites & Articles

    Apps & Podcasts

    • Actively Moving Forward (AMF) App
    • Rx Breakup App
    • Insight Timer App (search relevant keywords such as “breakup” or “grief”)
    • Heal Your Heartbreak Podcast
    • Terrible, Thanks for Asking Podcast
    • Healing with David Kessler Podcast

    Books

    • HealGrief.org: Recommended Reading Book List
    • Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You. 
      by Susan J. Elliott, J.D, Med. 
      It’s over - and it really hurts. But as unbelievable as it may seem when you are in the throes of heartache, you can move past your breakup.
    • On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Neaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Loss
      by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
      Elisabeth Kübler - Ross’s On Death and Dying changed the way we talk about the end of life. Before her own death in 2004, she and David Kessler completed On Grief and Grieving, which looks at the way we experience the process of grief. Just as On Death and Dying taught us the five stages of death - denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance - On Grief and Grieving applies these stages to the grieving process and weaves together theory, inspiration, and practical advice, including sections on sadness, hauntings, dreams, isolation, and healing. 
    • Bearing the Unbearable: Love, Loss, and the Heartbreaking Path of Grief
      by Joanne Cacciatore
      When a loved one dies, the pain of loss can feel unbearable—especially in the case of a traumatizing death that leaves us shouting, “NO!” with every fiber of our body. The process of grieving can feel wild and nonlinear - and often lasts for much longer than other people, the nonbereaved, tell us it should. Organized into fifty-two short chapters, Bearing the Unbearable is a companion for life’s most difficult times, revealing how grief can open our hearts to connection, compassion, and the very essence of our shared humanity. Dr. Joanne Cacciatore - bereavement educator, researcher, Zen priest, and leading counselor in the field - accompanies us along the heartbreaking path of love, loss, and grief. Through moving stories of her encounters with grief over decades of supporting individuals, families, and communities - as well as her own experience with loss - Cacciatore opens a space to process, integrate, and deeply honor our grief.
    • Comfort: A Journey Through Grief
      by Ann Hood
      In 2002, Ann Hood’s five-year-old daughter Grace died suddenly from a virulent form of strep throat. Stunned and devastated, the family searched for comfort in a time when none seemed possible. Hood―an accomplished novelist―was unable to read or write. She could only reflect on her lost daughter―“the way she looked splashing in the bathtub...the way we sang ‘Eight Days a Week.’” One day, a friend suggested she learn to knit. Knitting soothed her and gave her something to do. Eventually, she began to read and write again. A semblance of normalcy returned, but grief, in ever new and different forms, still held the family. What they could not know was that comfort would come, and in surprising ways. Hood traces her descent into grief and reveals how she found comfort and hope again―a journey to recovery that culminates with a newly adopted daughter.
    • Keep Moving: Notes on Loss, Creativity, and Change
      by Maggie Smith
      When Maggie Smith, the award-winning author of the viral poem “Good Bones,” started writing inspirational daily Twitter posts in the wake of her divorce, they unexpectedly caught fire. In this deeply moving book of quotes and essays, Maggie writes about new beginnings as opportunities for transformation. Like kintsugi, the Japanese art of mending broken ceramics with gold, Keep Moving celebrates the beauty and strength on the other side of loss. This is a book for anyone who has gone through a difficult time and is wondering: What comes next? 

    Videos & Blogs

    • Actively Moving Forward (YouTube)
    • Tam Talk: Nora McInerny (YouTube)

    Websites & Articles

    • What To Do When You Are Feeling Hopeless Or Thinking About Suicide
    • Understanding Hopelessness
    • How to Stop Feeling Hopelessness
    • Grief & the Holidays
    • Dealing with Uncertainty

    Need Help?

    • Contact Student Counseling Services
    • Stepped Care Model
    • The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI)
    • HealGrief Virtual Support
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