Grief, Loss, and Other Life Changes

Grief is a normal response to loss. Most commonly we relate grief to the loss of a loved one, but grief can be caused by any loss. Although grief is often described as a five stage process (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance), there is no “right” way to grieve. Not everyone experiences each stage, not everyone grieves in this order, and some experience various stages multiple times throughout their grief process.

If you feel like you are stuck in one stage of grief or that your grief could be turning into mild to severe depression, reach out to Student Counseling Services to get the support that you need.

On This Page:

Return to the Self-Help Library

Understanding Grief

The Death of a Loved One

When Someone You Love Dies by Suicide

Dealing with Divorce or Changes in a Relationship

Dealing with Health Issues

Other Types of Loss

Coping with Grief and Loss

Relaxation & Mindfulness

When Does Grief Become Unhealthy?

Additional Self-Help Resources

  • HealGrief.org: Recommended Reading Book List
  • Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You. 
    by Susan J. Elliott, J.D, Med. 
    It’s over - and it really hurts. But as unbelievable as it may seem when you are in the throes of heartache, you can move past your breakup.
  • On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Neaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Loss
    by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
    Elisabeth Kübler - Ross’s On Death and Dying changed the way we talk about the end of life. Before her own death in 2004, she and David Kessler completed On Grief and Grieving, which looks at the way we experience the process of grief. Just as On Death and Dying taught us the five stages of death - denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance - On Grief and Grieving applies these stages to the grieving process and weaves together theory, inspiration, and practical advice, including sections on sadness, hauntings, dreams, isolation, and healing. 
  • Bearing the Unbearable: Love, Loss, and the Heartbreaking Path of Grief
    by Joanne Cacciatore
    When a loved one dies, the pain of loss can feel unbearable—especially in the case of a traumatizing death that leaves us shouting, “NO!” with every fiber of our body. The process of grieving can feel wild and nonlinear - and often lasts for much longer than other people, the nonbereaved, tell us it should. Organized into fifty-two short chapters, Bearing the Unbearable is a companion for life’s most difficult times, revealing how grief can open our hearts to connection, compassion, and the very essence of our shared humanity. Dr. Joanne Cacciatore - bereavement educator, researcher, Zen priest, and leading counselor in the field - accompanies us along the heartbreaking path of love, loss, and grief. Through moving stories of her encounters with grief over decades of supporting individuals, families, and communities - as well as her own experience with loss - Cacciatore opens a space to process, integrate, and deeply honor our grief.
  • Comfort: A Journey Through Grief
    by Ann Hood
    In 2002, Ann Hood’s five-year-old daughter Grace died suddenly from a virulent form of strep throat. Stunned and devastated, the family searched for comfort in a time when none seemed possible. Hood―an accomplished novelist―was unable to read or write. She could only reflect on her lost daughter―“the way she looked splashing in the bathtub...the way we sang ‘Eight Days a Week.’” One day, a friend suggested she learn to knit. Knitting soothed her and gave her something to do. Eventually, she began to read and write again. A semblance of normalcy returned, but grief, in ever new and different forms, still held the family. What they could not know was that comfort would come, and in surprising ways. Hood traces her descent into grief and reveals how she found comfort and hope again―a journey to recovery that culminates with a newly adopted daughter.
  • Keep Moving: Notes on Loss, Creativity, and Change
    by Maggie Smith
    When Maggie Smith, the award-winning author of the viral poem “Good Bones,” started writing inspirational daily Twitter posts in the wake of her divorce, they unexpectedly caught fire. In this deeply moving book of quotes and essays, Maggie writes about new beginnings as opportunities for transformation. Like kintsugi, the Japanese art of mending broken ceramics with gold, Keep Moving celebrates the beauty and strength on the other side of loss. This is a book for anyone who has gone through a difficult time and is wondering: What comes next? 

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